I’m sorry, I just don’t like Harry Potter.

Firstly, please don’t murder me. Secondly, I’m not a completely awful human being. Lastly, I just don’t get what the big deal is… Now I really hope you know what the Harry Potter series is because if you haven’t it is quite likely that you actually live under a rock. So if you don’t know what it is, go read the books or if you are lazy like me and have given up on books because they are boring then you can watch the movies and then come back and read this. Awesome, so now that everyone knows what Harry Potter is I can tell you what I’m going to be talking about in the next four paragraphs. Firstly I’m going to talk about why Harry is kind of a trash person, secondly, I will explain how everything is very black and white and leaves little room for anything else and lastly, I will expose some of the plot flaws or places in the plot that hurt my brain and needs more clarification. 

Honestly, I just don’t understand why everyone is so obsessed with the Harry Potter series. It is ridiculously overrated and Harry is actually kind of an ass. Now before you get all triggered at me, allow me to give you some examples. First of all, Harry was ridiculously selfish – yeah I know he sacrificed himself to save the world in the end but the number of people that sacrificed themselves and their safety for him is endless, for example his parents, Hagrid, the Weasley’s – well with the exception of Percy who we will talk about later, the entire Order of the Phoenix, Dumbledore, pretty much every professor at Hogwarts, Snape, Neville, Dobby (may he rest in peace), the list is endless. Secondly, he was such a idiot when it came to girls. For example, he took Parvati Patel to the Yule Ball and then proceeded to spend the ENTIRE time whinging and sulking because his dream girl, Cho Chang, turned him down. Honestly, good for Cho Chang, Harry was a dick. Thirdly, Harry thought that just because he was the ‘chosen one’ that he was above the rules, he constantly used his fancy schmancy invisibility cloak to sneak out and do things against the rules. If it had been Draco or Neville sneaking out all the time they would have gotten in a heap of trouble but since it was Harry no one seemed to care. Fourthly, he doesn’t listen. In my 14 years of existence I have learnt that generally, most of the time my parents are right and that I should listen to them because they know what they are talking about. It’s the same with professors, they know what they are talking about, Harry needed to get that in his head rather than thinking he is smarter than everyone. For example, when both Dumbledore and Snape told Harry that he needed to practice Occlumency because Voldemort would try and control his dreams, so what did Harry do? Absolutely nothing and then got Sirius killed because Harry didn’t listen to his superiors. Again, the list could go on but I need to get onto my other points.

Everyone is either good or bad, it is very little in between. If you are brave, you are good. If you are ambitious, you are evil, That’s how the books showed it. It is very black and white, Gryffindor is good, Slytherin is evil. The only exceptions are Cormac Mclaggen and possibly Percy. Cormac was an interesting character because he was a Gryffindor who was an arrogant, chauvinistic, not very nice dude which showed that not all ‘brave’ people were good people. Or maybe he was sick on sorting hat day so they just chucked him in with the Gryffindors because why not? Percy was a Gryffindor but I honestly think he should have been a Slytherin. His main motives were ambition or loyalty to his own which are both Slytherin traits. He was very career driven and ambitious but he did the right thing in the end and fought in the Battle of Hogwarts.  Now let us talk about Snape, I personally don’t think Snape was a good person. He was a death eater by choice, he only changed sides because of his love for Lily, not because of morality. He also bullied children, which isn’t cool. Also, let us be honest here the only reason that Snape helped Harry is because Harry was Snape’s only connection to Lily, he wasn’t helping Harry because it was the right thing to do, he was helping Harry because he still loved Lilly.

The plot is just kind of all over the place. I get it, this book is complicated and there are lots of things going on but there are some things that J.K Rowling should have thought harder about or I need some clarification on. Numero uno, how come Fred and George didn’t notice Peter Pettigrew sleeping in Ron’s bed every night? In their first year at Hogwarts, the Weasley twins stole the Marauders Map (a magical map that showed the location of everyone). Ron’s pet rat, Scabbers, that had been passed down from Percy was actually Peter Pettigrew in hiding. So surely Fred and George would be able to see that Peter Pettigrew had been hanging around in Ron’s room for years? And even if the twins didn’t know that Pettigrew was an evil dude wouldn’t they still be kind of concerned that some random had been following their little brother everywhere? Numero Dos, Voldemort’s unnecessary Triwizard tournament plot featuring Barty Crouch. In the fourth book, Harry became close to and began to trust Mad-Eyed Moody ( Barty Crouch in disguise). Voldemorts big plan was to have Barty enter Harry’s name in the Goblet of fire and then have Barty coach harry through the tournament so that Voldemort could kill him in the end. Logistically that was a lot of work for Voldemort and Barty wouldn’t it just have been so much easier for Barty to just tell Harry that they had to go to some far away forest in the middle of nowhere so that Barty could show Harry some cool magic and then kill him there, rather than doing the whole Triwizard tournament thing? Numero Tres, the whole time turner thing. If wizards and witches could go through time then why didn’t Harry, Dumbledore or literally anyone go through time and stop young Voldemort/Tom Riddle before he did anything bad? They used the time turner to save Buckbeak why not use it to save the world?

In conclusion, Harry is kind of the worst, the book leaves little room for grey characters and there are some things that need a bit more clarification from J.K Rowling. I personally don’t like the Harry Potter series but I feel like everyone needs to see and/or read the series in order to have lived a full life. It’s kind of like High School Musical, some people love it, some people hate it, but if you haven’t seen it, have you really lived?

My New Chocolate Room

Confined within the constricting walls of glass, in the distance, you can see a great towering mountain. Nearing the great height you notice rivers of dense gooey liquid pouring down into a cracked volcanic landscape. A delectable aroma of caramelized sugar engulfs you as you take in the ruined scenery. Floating in the forceful liquid are pieces of the once alluring brownie earth. The scent of melting chocolate dances with the caramelized sugar as the brownie slowly melts in the furnace of fudge. With the mouth-watering aroma comes a succulent taste of chocolate and golden syrup. Streams of liquid hot sludge cascade down the everlasting peak as great trenches of lava divide the land. From high above you can barely make out the small figures scooping up the cooling magma and carting it off to goodness knows where.

The great glass elevator shakes as it changes direction, angling down, a rocket landing on a new foreign planet. Approaching the tormented earth the heat intensifies. Perching on a floating piece of melting goodness all the other details hit you like a rock. The way the smoke curled up around the bottom of the glass elevator like your own protective nest. How you can hear the crashing and boiling of the lava from the depths of the earth. Your taste buds are overwhelmed with the flavours of condensed milk, caramelizing sugar and melting chocolate. The softening earth beneath the elevator and the cracking and crashing as a piece of the colossal volcano tumbled down the considerable height only to be replaced by more solidified sugary magma.

Fishing in the great trenches Oompa Loompa’s haul up their bubblegum pink buckets chucking the gooey lava into giant carts. Railways crisscross over the land and mining carts full with cooling liquid sludge are being carted away to the depths of the factory to be made into Whipple-scrumptious fudgemallow delight, strawberry flavoured chocolate coated fudge and whatever other marvellous, mysterious magic Mr Wonka makes. Pressing your face up against the cold glass your senses are overwhelmed. The tortured terrain is wickedly beautiful, captivating yet menacing. Your face is still pressed against the glass, unable to tear your eyes away from the fascinating sight as the great glass elevator glides up into the sky and far away until the peak is little more than a brown dot on the horizon.

Description and Layering

City, petrol/car fumes, steep, dark, excitement!

Big, dark, spotlights, shoes, gold

Expensive, fancy, gold, sparkly, new.

Gold, sparkly, stilettos

Sitting on a fancy as shoe box, still

 

The smell of petrol burns your nose, the street is a steep decline with the sounds of cars rushing  past. Shivering you pull your coat tighter around you, you have mad regrets, all you wanted was some cookies.  Lampposts and passing cars are the sources of light. As you walk along the footpath many displays catch your eyes, from the distance you can see something catching the light. Dismissing it you keep walking focusing on the ground, the footpath is an uneven tiled pattern as it levels off. As you walk closer the glimmering light changes, now it’s a bright, in your face spotlight and it’s calling to you. Nearing the window the light changes again channelling down until it turns into a intense, mouth-watering, coruscating gold stiletto, with six inch heels, putting Jimmy Choo to shame. Overcome with want you stare for a few more seconds before you really take in your surroundings. Staring you take in the impressive gold fountain, glass stand and twinkling lights. You forget the chill, the cookies and everything else running through your mind, you need those shoes! You run towards the tiny white writing next to closed revolving doors, 8 more hours and then those shoes will be yours! Turning around walking back the way you came, the heels still in your mind, counting down the seconds until they are yours.

Attempting Prepositions

Beyond the quaint seaside town, swirling blue waves crashed and mysterious creatures lurked. Between the rocky cliffs children played in the calm surf, enjoying their loving, carefree life. Through the streets the smell of seafood wafted, coming from the tightly crammed colourful buildings that one might find in a children’s movie.  Beneath the mountain, of which it perched many who ventured would not return, no one knows why and most don’t want to.  Upon the the mountain thick forests grew, a winding road the only exit. Out at sea, gulls cried and boats explored, floating like stars in the night sky. On the rocky shore the waves caressed the earth their romance still a mystery to us all.

Romeo, Juliet and Fate : An Essay

Fate is a like an ocean, you never really know where you are going, most of the time you end up getting to your end destination safely but on the odd occasion you hit an iceberg and drown, unfortunately for Romeo and Juliet. Fate plays a huge role in William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. Without the presence of fate the play would have a different outcome. One of the many reasons why this play is such a well-known classical read is because of the way that Shakespeare has intertwined fate and Romeo and Juliet’s predetermined destiny throughout the whole play without making it blatantly obvious. Shakespeare has given Romeo and Juliet have a very unfortunate fate that can be predicted throughout the story using different literary techniques . Three interesting ways that Shakespeare portrays fate are prophecies, stars, fortune and acts of God. Shakespeare uses literary techniques such as foreshadowing and dialogue to show this.

One of the many examples of fate is Romeo and Juliet are the Prophecies. Prophecies often come up in this play and are used to show what may happen in the future. Characters usually communicate prophecies without knowing it. Shakespeare’s prophecies are using a literature technique called foreshadowing. Foreshadowing is used to give hints to the reader about what may happen later is the play. An example of a prophecy in Romeo and Juliet is when they are getting married and Friar Lawrence says ‘These violent delights have violent ends, and in their triumph die like fire and powder which as they kiss consume’. In this quote Shakespeare uses the terms ‘violent delights’ and ‘violent ends’ this is referring to  Romeo and Juliet’s love and their death and in general prophesying that they are going to die (spoiler alert).  Their ‘triumph’ is their death, which dies like ‘fire and powder’, powder is referring to gunpowder which when mixed with fire creates an explosion. This quote tells us that when they die, it will be huge and explosive and have an effect on many others especially their families. These prophecies show that all the way through the play Romeo and Juliet have limited control over what is going to happen. Another example of a prophecy is when Tybalt and Mercutio are fighting, Tybalt stabs Mercutio and he says ‘A plague o’both your houses! I am sped’ This is prophesying the loss that each house is going to experience when Romeo and Juliet die.

Throughout the play there are many references to the stars and to fortune these are mostly through the use of dialogue. Back in Romeo and Juliet’s era the stars were often used to predict the future and had a lot of meaning. The stars were often read or deciphered to read one’s destiny or to offer guidance through a hard time. Shakespeare uses dialogue to show this. Dialogue is when a characters talk about a topic or express feelings or thoughts through verbal means of communication. Romeo often talks about the stars or to the stars. One of his quotes is ‘I defy you, stars’,shouted at the night sky. In this quote the stars represent Romeo’s fate. This means that he is defying his destiny and going his own way instead of following the stars. He is trying to reject his destiny. Another quote that shows this is ‘O, I am fortunes fool’. Romeo is recognising that he has no control and that fortune is controlling him like a puppet.

In Romeo and Juliet’s time, everyone believed in God and God was a big part of life, whenever something hugely coincidental happened it was considered  an act of God. ‘God’ also plays a role in Romeo and Juliet’s tragedy.An example of this is when Friar Lawrence sent the letter to Romeo about Juliet taking the potion to look like she was dead. Unfortunately the mailman got affected by the plague and was quarantined meaning that the letter was never delivered which leads to Romeo killing himself, after Friar Lawrence finds out about the letter not getting delivered he says ‘Unhappy fortune! By my brotherhood the letter was not nice but full of charge’. Meaning what unfortunate fate but that the letter carried bad news. The plague was considered an act of God and that the letter not being delivered meant that God didn’t want the letter to be delivered. Back in this time many would believe that since God didn’t allow the letter to get to Romeo that he wanted Romeo and Juliet to die. Another example of an act of God is when the servant came across Benvolio and Romeo first when he couldn’t read the invites to the ball and he says ‘I pray, sir, can you read?’. This ‘act of God’ led to Romeo  attending the ball and meeting Juliet. These ‘acts of God’ are vital to the storyline because without them the outcome may be completely different.

In conclusion, you can tell from the points above that Romeo and Juliet had little to no control over what was going to happen to them and that due to their unfortunate predetermined fate. Three points that demonstrate this are prophecies, stars, fortune and acts of God. Shakespeare has used literary techniques such as foreshadowing and dialogue to emphasize this. Throughout reading this play I have been able to identify how Shakespeare used different techniques to show the reader what was going to happen and how important storylines are.

People should not be allowed to put pineapple on pizza!

Pineapples should not be on pizza. Pineapple is the only fruit that one might consider to have on a pizza, and it not even a real fruit. It’s not a pine, it’s not an apple, its actually a berry. What kind of person puts berries on pizza? Normally if you’re sharing a pizza and one of you doesn’t like a specific topping, you just take it off and eat what’s left. However, pineapple loves to leave it sickly taste behind (because it’s evil like that) so even without a single trace of yellow left, as soon as that pizza hits your mouth, you can tell immediately that it has been poisoned by pineapple. Plus pineapple is a wet berry and no one likes soggy pizza. Professional Chef, Gordon Ramsey once said, and I quote “Pineapple does not go on top of pizza”, he is a professional and he knows what he is talking about, if you dare to disagree with him he will put two pieces of bread on your face and call you an idiot sandwich. Pineapple despite having what some might call a pleasant taste it actually increases a male’s sperm count meaning that your chance of getting a woman pregnant increases and that basically means that if you eat lots of pineapple then you are more likely to get a female pregnant which is bad – premarital sex is a sin! And finally you are eating spongebob’s home, you sick person!

Warning! Incoming Rant!!!!

Arghhhhhh we just watched the end of Romeo and Juliet and I’m so annoyed!!!!

So lemme just get this straight Juliet doesn’t want to marry Paris, so she decides Oh yeah lets just go visit my local crackhead drug dealing priest to see if he can solve my problems for me. Then the priest is all like yeah you gotta fake your death so take this random blue drug that will look like you are dead and we will just send a letter to your actual husband who no one knows about. But oh no post service didn’t send the letter and the Romeo finds out Juliet is dead and is all like, if you don’t live then I won’t either ( I would just like to take the time to clarify that they have known each other for like 3 days) and then shoots a whole load of people to get to the place where Juliet is ‘dead’ then spends a whole time like making out with her even though she is ‘dead’ and then as soon as she wakes up, kills himself. Wow what great timing, like bro, maybe just check again before you go and poison yourself . So then Juliet shoots herself. Wow great story!

Image result for romeo and juliet tomb scene And lets not forget the major fire risk at the tomb! Like health and safety where you at?

Rant over sorry!

Oooooo Dramatic Quote!

“I dreamt my lady came and found me dead…

And breath’d such life with kisses in my lips

That I reviv’d and was an emperor.”

Romeo, Act 5, Scene 1, Line 6-9

Romeo speaks of a dream that he had the night before. In his dream Juliet found him dead, but when she kissed him she breathed life into his body and revived him. He then rose from the dead and became an emperor.

Two words in this quote that I find interesting are emperor and dead.

The definition of emperor is a sovereign ruler of an empire, I find the use of this word interesting because it is entirely out of context and maybe shakespeare just wrote it so that it reinforced that it really was just a dream.Dead is the other word that intrigued me. The definition of dead is no longer alive.

All together this quote really again just hints at what is going to happen in the near future although neither of them know what’s going to happen.

Oh look! Another quote!

“I would the fool were married to her grave”

 Dun,Dun,Dun (cue dramatic music)

– Lady Capulet, Act 3 Scene 5 Line 60

Oooooooo, So a little background info, basically Lady C goes to tell Juliet that she is to be married to Paris on Thursday, and then Juliet is like oh hell no and then Capulet comes in and is like bro you are marrying him just deal with it, I will drag you there, screaming if I have too. Then Lady C says “I would the fool married to her grave”, this basically means that she would rather Juliet die than not get married, but Juliet can’t get married to Paris because she is already married to Romeo but her parents don’t know about that and think that she hates Romeo because he killed Tybalt.

One part that amuses me a little bit is that Lady C calls Juliet a ‘fool’ – I think this I supposed to insult Juliet but I am just internally laughing at how different insults are in our time.

The funny thing is that (spoiler alert) little does Lady C know but it actually happened- Juliet literally got married to her grave in the sense that the arranged marriage with Paris and her short marriage with Romeo actually kills her. So this leads back to the whole idea of pre-determined fate and that Juliet has no control at all over what happens and how Shakespeare shows this in his writing.

 

5 Minutes. Think!

‘Is love an invention created by humans?’

Arghh my brain…

I believe that love was not created by humans. When people think of love the first type of love they think about is romantic love, but there are many different types of love. For example there is the love from parents to child which is sometimes called ‘unconditional’ love. Do only humans love their children?   I don’t think so. Love for our children existed long before humans arrived, it was necessary for our evolution. Not only was love necessary for evolution but the acting of ‘loving’ releases many hormones which affect our brain…