People should not be allowed to put pineapple on pizza!

Pineapples should not be on pizza. Pineapple is the only fruit that one might consider to have on a pizza, and it not even a real fruit. It’s not a pine, it’s not an apple, its actually a berry. What kind of person puts berries on pizza? Normally if you’re sharing a pizza and one of you doesn’t like a specific topping, you just take it off and eat what’s left. However, pineapple loves to leave it sickly taste behind (because it’s evil like that) so even without a single trace of yellow left, as soon as that pizza hits your mouth, you can tell immediately that it has been poisoned by pineapple. Plus pineapple is a wet berry and no one likes soggy pizza. Professional Chef, Gordon Ramsey once said, and I quote “Pineapple does not go on top of pizza”, he is a professional and he knows what he is talking about, if you dare to disagree with him he will put two pieces of bread on your face and call you an idiot sandwich. Pineapple despite having what some might call a pleasant taste it actually increases a male’s sperm count meaning that your chance of getting a woman pregnant increases and that basically means that if you eat lots of pineapple then you are more likely to get a female pregnant which is bad – premarital sex is a sin! And finally you are eating spongebob’s home, you sick person!

One Reply to “People should not be allowed to put pineapple on pizza!”

  1. Indy! love it (even though i disagree). You had many points and wrote in a way I could relate to. Maybe you could restate your argument in the closing sentence. entertaining read. And that is my complement sandwich done.

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